Discernment Counseling
Discernment Counseling offers a framework for working through the viability of a relationship for both partners. During these sessions, we work toward clarity about whether to keep the marriage as it is, move toward separation or divorce, or commit to rebuilding the relationship.
I specialize in helping couples whose marriage is at the breaking point, using discernment counseling to get you to the right place. If you’re considering divorce, but are not completely certain that’s the best path, I'm here to help.
This is your moment to slow down, take a breath, and examine options moving forward regarding your relationship.
“Your first marriage is over; would you like to create a second one together?”
-Esther Perel
What Discernment Counseling Is (and Is Not)
It is not traditional couple's therapy. Discernment Counseling is an innovative, focused, one to five session sequence, especially helpful for couples when divorce is on the table and there’s not enough time and motivation to explore their entire marriage.
This type of therapy is recommended when one person is "leaning out" of the relationship, unsure that regular marriage counseling would help -- and the other partner is "leaning in," interested in rebuilding the marriage.
There are no interventions, experiential re-enactments, trauma work, or skill-building exercises in Discernment Counseling. The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
Discernment Counseling is not suited for these situations:
- when one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
- when one spouse is coercing the other to participate
- when there is danger of domestic violence
My Approach
During the process, both of you will be treated with compassion and respect, no matter how you’re feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad spouses or good spouses here!
The first session is usually 2 hours and the subsequent sessions are 1.5 or 2 hours. You will first come in as a couple, but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with me, your counselor.
Why? Because each of you are starting out in different places. I emphasize the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships, even if this one ends.
At the end of the session, you’ll reconvene and share a summary of your individual conversations. You’ll clarify if you’d like to meet again for more discernment work, stay with the marriage as it’s been, move towards separation or divorce, or transition into couples therapy.
About Discernment Counseling
For more information about Discernment Counseling, watch this video featuring Dr. Bill Doherty, the creator of Discernment Counseling as he explains what makes this process so innovative and unique.
Get Started
Fill out the form below to request a free 15 minute call to discuss Discernment Counseling for each of you, individually. I look forward to speaking with you two! Upon filling out the form, both you and your partner will receive an email confirmation with next steps.