Erica* appeared confident; a poster child for the American beauty standard. Straight white teeth. Long, sleek blonde hair. Strong, upright posture. A trim body dressed head-to-toe in a look that could have been pulled straight from a magazine spread. In many ways, she exemplified "perfection."On paper, too, Erica’s life looked enviable. She had two healthy [...]
"Men think she’s not interested in sex, but it’s not that… she’s not interested in the sex she’s gonna have. In order to have sex, it needs to be sex that is worth wanting. It’s about making it more alive and vibrant." - Esther Perel, (Perel, as cited in Bartlett, 2025). With the heterosexual couples [...]
Is there anything more important to us than our close relationships? More central to our well-being? Likely not. From the moment of our birth to our death, if people who care for us are there, life is better. Healthy, close relationships create a cocoon around us that supports our physical and mental health. They open us [...]
How do you feel about yourself? No, how do you really FEEL about your “self,” your personhood? How do you feel about that core that is your essence, that lies deep within you? What has happened to you that informs how you feel about yourself? For many, that core is understood to be your self. [...]
I have a radical idea: …let’s take down the term “guilty pleasure.” What if we stop feeling guilty about pleasure and the joy that accompanies it and actually use pleasurable experiences as a way to love and empower ourselves? I remember my first intuitive development teacher, who, in my 26 year-old eyes, was an infinitely wise [...]
Too Busy for Pleasure? Don’t worry, feeling sensual and getting sh*t done are not mutually exclusive. "If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy [...]
Years ago, I was set to teach a women’s workshop entitled, “Unraveling the Pleasure Paradox & Embracing Erotic Energy.” To my surprise, only one person registered. After cancelling the event due to low numbers, I consulted with trusted colleagues who told me the title was wrong. The word “erotic” was too “scary” for modest Minnesotans, [...]
What brings you pleasure? Think about something that gives you pleasure. Most people can list the foods they love to eat (that is, foods that give them pleasure). Others will list out a range of pleasurable physical experiences (ie. exercise, being outdoors, dancing). Still, others will list social experiences as pleasurable (being with the grandkids, [...]
From all appearances, Cheryl and Sam* are in love. They thoroughly enjoy their time together, are affectionate and are a delight to be around. Recently, their relationship has become serious. They aren’t dating anyone else and there’s been talk of marriage. But during the “betwixt and betweens” of their relationship, when they aren’t spending [...]
Imagine you and your partner possess a secret that vastly improves how you intimately engage with one another; something that helps you feel close; something that helps you get into the mood; something that helps you let go of your problems and concerns and enjoy each other. That is what my secret sauce is [...]
