Couples Therapy
“Love is the bridge between you and everything.” Rumi
I help couples who are feeling trapped in cycles of dissatisfaction, disagreement, and disconnection.
I am dedicated to providing you with the opportunity to break through the blocks and stagnation that are keeping you from experiencing the joy, passion, and intimacy you deserve. This is a chance to infuse new life into your relationship with a revitalized perspective.
Clients tell me my work with them is like a breath of fresh air.
I believe that healthy relationships are central to our well-being. From the moment of our birth to our death, if people who care for us, are there for us, life is better. Through my research-based and practical approach to intimacy you can discover love and deepen your current relationships so you can cherish yourself and your loved ones and share the joy of being alive!
I use a highly effective form of couples counseling called Relational Life Therapy (RLT).
RLT therapy affirms that intimacy is your birthright. Being close to people is what you are biologically wired to do; you are born to be relational and it’s what your body and nervous systems are designed for: to connect. In this approach, intimacy is a verb, it isn’t something you have; it’s something you do, something you practice.
In addition to this professional work, I add nearly three decades of being happily married. In this way, I bring a wealth of personal experience to the table. I understand firsthand what goes into making a long-term, fulfilling partnership and I know about the many complexities of a committed marriage: the ups and downs, and the joys and the grief. When you share the twists and turns of your life with someone, it is a better ride!
As a couple’s therapist certified in RLT therapy, I use a three tired approach:
1
First, we identify the behaviors that block your mutual satisfaction and keep you stuck.
2
We then work through any family of origin dynamics or trauma that is causing you to repeat old patterns that are depleting your relationship.
3
Lastly, you’ll learn effective relational skills. During this process, I’m there to be your committed listener, mirror, and educator, while the process leads you on a path to intimacy and joy.
Who I work with:
The couples I typically work with are successful in many areas of life, but struggle in their marriage or partnerships. A number of them have been married before; some have been in couples and individual therapy in the past and are ready to make some real changes, both internally in how they think and feel and externally in how they connect with their partner.
Focus Areas for Treatment
Marital and Family Issues Across the Lifespan
- Before you marry, you’re looking for premarital help, so you can accentuate your strengths as a couple and identify the areas in your relationship that will need work.
- You are grappling with parenting young children and making time for each other.
- One or both of you are having a “midlife crisis” and are struggling with how to be together.
- One of you wants to “grow, change and evolve” while the other wants to be loved, “just the way I am.”
- You are wrestling with aging bodies and how to live out your lives together.
- As a couple, you’re laboring with “elderly parent issues” and need better support through this transition.
Our Bond Is Bending
and Could Break
- One or both of you is “leaning out” of the relationship.
- There has been an emotional or physical affair with another.
Conflict
- You feel like your partner is your opponent instead of your soulmate.
- You need help learning how to forgive.
- You grapple with boundaries, with saying the word “no” to requests, so you say “yes” instead and then feel resentful towards your partner.
- After a disagreement, you give each other the silent treatment.
- You have destructive verbal fights and say things to “get back at each other.”
- You grew up in a dysfunctional home and never learned how to deal with conflict in a healthy way.
Trauma &
Healing the Past
- You and your partner mutually trigger each other’s trauma histories.
- You are aware of the trauma in your past and need help healing it.
More Intimacy & Joy
- You feel like “best friends and roommates” but the spark of passion between you, needs to be lit.
- You are ready for new levels of intimacy with your partner beyond the “sparks” and “butterflies.” You want to get to know each other in a profound way.
- You want to deeply connect, without defenses or inhibitions.